


Wolf and Phoenix

by hinotorihime



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Angsty Fic of Angstiness, Drabble, Gen, Stream of Consciousness, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-08
Updated: 2016-01-08
Packaged: 2018-05-12 14:48:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5669830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hinotorihime/pseuds/hinotorihime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lithuania for Lithuanians, he said, and it's hard to stay kind when you're hurting this much. <br/>(not really)LietPol(anymore).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wolf and Phoenix

i close my eyes and swallow a bit of the night.

(cold and hot and ice and summer rain and) sometimes i wonder how we got here, how we reached this point, how it is that _it doesn't matter i will never stop loving you_ (i know now that those were the words you were going to say, before you pulled your tongue back behind that wall of a smile) and yet here we are with the ash falling like grey twilight around us...

your tears should not be rubies my darling.

because you, you who once were my everything and now are nothing and why did it ever come to this but i have no _choice_ , can't you see that, and in the end you hurt me first — a thousand thousand tiny wounds did you really think i didn't bleed? — you spread your feathers and soar and the wolf that snaps now at your fiery wings can no longer follow you, no longer _wants_ to follow you, and i always hated to see you hurt but this time—

a thousand thousand heartbeats and i'm still bleeding because of you.

(cold and hot and ice and summer rain and your cat-eyes gleaming gold in the darkness)

_always late_ , am i? but you always expected me before.

He will smile later, and i will weep for what is and what might have been if all the things that were were not, but the firebird renews only in the dawn and there is no sunlight here. i've made sure of that.

(oh cat-eyed boy with the brilliant tattered wings don't you know i'd have given you my heart then if you'd only asked? five hundred years of shyness and now it's too late — did you honestly expect that i wouldn't move on?)

your name on my lips tastes of despair and it's supposed to be _happiness_ isn't it? but i am _far away_ , i always have been, and the chasm between us has only grown wider all these years of wishing.

tears on my face

and i pull

and your cry is so _loud_

and suddenly i feel

so

light

is this what it is to be free?

**Author's Note:**

> The name Feliks, or Felix, of course comes from Latin, where it means 'happy' or 'fortunate'.
> 
> The name Tolys is a very, very rare name in Lithuania. According to a website I found (I think - it was in Lithuanian, so I'm not entirely certain how accurate my understanding is), it's technically a nickname for several names that start with the element "Tol-" (for example, Tolvydas, Tolvaišas, Tolmintas), and the tol- means "far". (Also, apparently the stress is on the second syllable: to-LEES, not TO-lis.)


End file.
